


Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

by amazingpages



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Derek Has Issues, Derek's Perspective, Gen, Introspection, Personal Growth, Werewolf Therapy, but sometimes they work out, werewolf problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-08-14
Packaged: 2017-12-23 12:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/926488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazingpages/pseuds/amazingpages
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek finds a bit of peace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

**Author's Note:**

> Title shamelessly borrowed from a song of the same name by the band Cage the Elephant.

Being a werewolf has its perks, to be sure, and despite the absolutely horrifying number of bad situations Derek winds up in because of it, he can’t ever imagine himself without it. Being a werewolf is a part of him, in a way that it’s not for those of his pack that he’s bitten. He identifies with his inner-wolf just as much as he does to his human nature; the two are interwoven, coexisting in his body so fluidly that he can’t really say where one part ends and the other begins.

But it’s also being a werewolf that can overwhelm him to the point of utter despair. It’s _because_ his two natures are so entwined that he can lose sight of what’s choice and what’s instinct. He can’t always tell when something is right or if it’s just his basic nature _urging_ him to do it. And sometimes, when these thoughts are all warring in his head, his mind full of questions and his senses flooded with the intense sounds, smells, and awareness he can’t ignore, Derek just wishes for a small bit of peace.

He can argue that being a werewolf doesn’t make him a savage, and it would be true, but only because he is not one-hundred percent solid wolf. Because his wolf? It is savage in all the ways that count—it is fierce, wild, powerful, _uncontrolled_. And it’s the control that he wishes for so desperately sometimes, the ability to just turn everything off and _rest_. Even when his mind isn’t running, his body is always on alert, primed and ready for any and everything.

It’s exhausting in the most basic of ways.

Derek treasures early mornings, that small sliver of time just before the sun rises. It’s as though the peaceful quiet before everything arises for the new day seeps into his bones, and during those moments he can pretend that life is always that tranquil. He’ll lay silently in his bed, still in the semi-boneless state before he is fully awake, and it’s there that he finds the solitude he yearns for. He’ll smell the air, so still and unbroken by the constant motions of the day, as pure and fresh as newly-fallen snow. He’ll listen to the muted hush of the morning that precedes the perpetual noise of the day, the silence only broken by the faint, comforting thrum of heartbeats as his pack still sleeps.

It’s then that he feels revived and able to welcome the new day, to assume his role as an alpha with the unwavering belief that this is who he is, who he’s _born_ to be. And those times serve as a reminder that he wouldn’t choose another life even if he could. He knows exactly who he is, the role he plays in everything around him. Those mornings keep him focused, keep him sane.

And during those small, intimate moments, Derek finds his peace.

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a quick little blurb I wrote when I was sick to help me feel better. I hope you liked it! :)
> 
> Come visit me on [tumblr](http://miss-emrys.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
